Tuesday, December 13, 2011

THE END IS VERY NEAR!


TOM CRUISE IS SEXY ROCK GOD: ROCK OF AGES TRAILER IS HERE

12.13.11WRITTEN BY VINCE MANCINI
Rock of Ages has a trailer
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From the director of Hairspray...
Aw, crap. I don't know if I--
Based on the hit Broadway musical...
Um, yeeeah, you know, this doesn't exactly sound like my cup of t--
Starring Tom Cruise...
Waiter! Check please!
THOSE FUN-HATING SHRIVS ARE TRYING TO STOP ROCK N ROLL! ... AGAIN!
Mother of God, was that a "We're Not Gonna Take It"/"We Built This City" hybrid medley? YAAAAAGHHHHH, MAKE IT STOP! IT'S LIKE I'VE BEEN SKULLF*CKED BY NIGHTMARE DICKS!
Game over, man, game over. Adam Shankman must be stopped. I've been trying to get you people to listen for years. WHAT'S IT GOING TO TAKE?
[Rock of Ages, opens June 1st, 2012. If the apocalypse happens in 2012, it will be because of this.]

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