Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Meet Charles Ramsey, a hero who rescued three women missing for a decade and then gave the best interview ever.
America just ran into Charles Ramsey's arms, and it is so right.
Internet, meet Charles Ramsey. Charles, meet the Internet (don't shake hands, the Internet's gross). Ramsey became a hero yesterday when he rescued Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and one other Cleveland woman, all three having been missing for more than a decade. The terrifying story of these three women who were trapped in Ramsey's neighbor's home is still being pieced together, but things might have ended differently had Ramsey not responded to Amanda Berry's pleas for help.
Ramsey then gave the above interview which will be autotuned by lunchtime. A few quotes:
"You got some big testicles to pull this off, bro."
"Nothing exciting about him...Until today."
"Bro, I knew something was wrong when a little, pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms. Something is wrong here. Dead giveaway."
Charles Ramsey is now America's favorite neighbor. To borrrow from his words, pulling off this act of heroism required "some big testicles." Or, at the very least, a good heart.

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